I don’t understand why the new sunroom’s always covered in shadows. I should be standing on that new hardwood flooring, sipping coffee from a mug that says “World’s Best Dad,” and watching squirrels fight over acorns.

But the only animals ever seen through the newly-installed big bay window, are the dead birds littered around the ground in a semi-circle below the glass.

The rest of the house is the same as it ever was. Bright, comforting…home. But you go and kill, dismember, and bury one contractor under your new floorboards and…